Years ago, as I sat in a Weight Watchers Meeting in Orange, CT, the Leader said we need to rid our lives of the Negative Folks who bring us down. Thoughts of my Mother came flooding in and I wondered just HOW that was going to happen; afterall, she’s Mom, right? You can’t just walk away, can you? Hmmm . . . . .
I went home and thought long and hard about that one. I decided to go to a Counselor to determine if there was actually a really good way to go about ridding myself of my mother, because afterall, she’s Mom, right? Besides, I’ve never been a mean-spirited person like she’d been to me. There had to be a way to get my point across methodically, without hurting her feelings, though truly, I would have loved to have given just a piece back of what I’d enduring all those years growing up, but . . . I needed to be the bigger person, not the one to stoop to her level.
I hired a Counselor whom, after discussing my dilemma, said she could help. Awesome! We had a few sessions and after her being able to extract exactly what my issues were, she said it would be advantageous for me not to speak with my mother while we worked on those issues. Her suggestion was to either call or write a letter explaining the situation. As a Writer, I chose the written word, # 1, because I am a Writer, and # 2, because my Mother had a way of twisting my words around to suit her own means, then would go complain to the world what a horrible daughter I was. It needed to be in writing. I even cited some literature in that letter, hopeful [as a reader with a Library Card] she would be interested in understanding the issues. Ha! I know, wishful thinking on my part!
Mom died a few years ago . . . I believe my letter had an impact upon her. She treated me somewhat better after that letter and the fact I didn’t speak to her for three months while working on my issues.
Fast Forward to 2021 . . . . I recently had to extricate another person from my life. It’s difficult to do, however, so freeing to one’s soul. You really do not require the “Negative Nellies” of the world in your life; just walk away and be done with them. There’s already waaaay too much negativity in the world around us; we require peace within our souls, within our circle of friends and family. Learn how to speak up for yourself, let people know they cannot continue to put your down. No one should be pointing out your flaws; we’re all flawed in one way or another and trust me, I KNOW WHAT MINE ARE; I don’t need so-called friends pointing them out to me. With friends like that, who needs enemies? Friends/Family should build you up!
~ JA, 09-30-21