Did you know that the way to keep your marriage intact is to continue to do Date Night?
So you finally ‘caught’ the gal of your dreams. You’d been wanting to go out with her forever and now she’s yours. You get married, have some children and Date Night suddenly becomes “something we used to do”.
Guess what? You’ll be divorced in no time at all because if you don’t continue to nurture the relationship in the manner you did prior to marriage, and ALL your free time has suddenly shifted to children’s activities, you’ll grow further and further apart.
One day you’ll wake up and wonder who that stranger is lying in the bed next to you. You’ll realize the only thing left in common is your shared off-spring.
Pick up the bouquet of flowers “Just Because”; it never has to be a ‘special occasion’; YOUR Woman/YOUR Man IS the Special Occasion . . . to be Celebrated on a Daily Basis!
Surprise her/him with a weekend away; doesn’t even have to be far from home; could just be at a local hotel doing touristy things in your own town. Just to get away from the hum-drum of normal daily life. Dinner at a nice restaurant, a massage for two, something special to make her/him feel appreciated for all she/he does for you, for the children, on a daily basis. Maybe even just for a few hours on a chilly day; grab some cheese, a bottle of wine, crackers and grapes. Get one of those half-dome beach shelters, spread a blanket out underneath and just spend some time alone – together. Or meet in the parking lot where your child(ren) are playing (enter sport here) and “park” just like in the old days. Mix it up a little; life shouldn’t be hum-drum after children. DATING remains an essential part of a relationship!!!
These days, most Moms work outside the home and many men still believe it’s a woman’s job to clean the house, cook the meals, do the laundry, etc. A few years back, there was a story on FB, went something like this . . . .
Man and Woman were watching TV, the woman gets up and says, “I’m going to bed.” She then goes to the Laundry Room, where she folds the clothes in the dryer and puts them all away. She then checks all the notices the kids have left for her regarding school events, etc, fills out Permission Slips and leaves money for those events. She then makes sandwiches for tomorrow’s lunches. She lays out the clothes for the younger children for school in the morning. She puts another load of wash in the washing machine. She unloads the dishwasher and reloads it. She lets the dog out and back in. Then does her nightly bathroom routine, then goes back to the Family Room and kisses her husband goodnight. He says, “I thought you were going to bed.” She said, “I am.”
With that, the man gets up, says he’s going to bed and does.
I was a stay-at-home Mom; my husband used to come home, walk through the basement where the washer/dryer were located, see the pile of clothes on the floor, walk up the stairs and start ranting about WHY the wash wasn’t done. Mind you, he was a bachelor before I met him; he was not braindead when it came to doing wash. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “Really? You walked PAST the pile and rather than picking the clothes up off the floor, popping them in the washing machine and turning it on, you thought it best to come upstairs and bitch about it instead? Are you sure?” Most days when he bitched like that, my answer was: “The children are still alive!” Those kids wanted to run in opposite directions every single day of their lives. I remember the day a friend was visiting from out of town; she said, “Wow! You’ve got your hands full; they are complete opposites.” [Ha! They still are.]
You’ll be divorced in no time flat IF you FAIL to DO two things . . . . Nurture one another and Date Night.
Peace. ~ JA, 03-31-2022